2004-11-01 - 8:43 p.m.
"I tried the Sortes myself now and was astonished at the apposite nature of the quotation which I picked: 'I had need of all the spirits a good dinner could give, to resist the dejection which crept insensibly on my mind.'" (Graham Greene, Travels With My Aunt)
Was in my internal nature or my natural surroundings that caused me to be an introvert, but a lonely introvert? For those introverts I know well could find solace in a dinner for one, but I never can. No, I can hardly swallow a great dinner alone, and would prefer to eat nothing than to eat a tasteless meal.
Regardless of my preferences, I eat alone frequently, and pretend. I pretend, as I watch idle Main Street after the normal lunch hour and munch a slice of pizza, that the pizza man and I are great friends who can enjoy silence together. If I wanted to talk, he'd probably listen, though I have never said anything important.
