2003-11-05 - 10:40 p.m.
She said that one reason she could not have become close friends with --- is their differences about Providence. --- is more than happy to see God’s hand in everything that happens in her life. She told us how she delighted in the times her car broke down because of the people she met those days and the grace she received on the tests she had little time to prepare for as she sat on the edge of highways or small town cafes. At that my friend made a face that said she would never be at peace with delay of any kind, and the Lord definitely would not do that to her.
I began to wonder where I fit between these two, since, from thethat way I talk about my circumstances, I must believe in Providence to some degree. In fact my whole life leading up to my conversion convinces me of Providence.
Lately, I have begun to wonder where God does want me, truly want me, since it appears to me my strengths lie in places other than retail sales. My preference is to be the administrative assistant, not the administrator; my preference is for methods, not for innovative, resourceful remedies; my preference is for a quiet-paced environment, not for busyness. But is my life's work to be about my preferences, or about constant challenge to my natural tendencies? I tell myself that God will open doors. That if He desires me elsewhere, someone will recognize my gifts better than I do myself and offer a job more desirable. The possibilities for Him to direct me are quite endless, and I should not even think about a one--even though I do.
As I wonder, and pick up in the tone of a co-worker that she, at least, wonders too, whether I am suited for the position Zingerman’s hired me for, I meet two awesome people. (Please understand that I write these for the sake of thinking aloud about Providence, and not to pat myself on the back.) Yesterday a guest frantically asked to make a large order that she wanted to pick up directly after a Zing Train seminar, to head back home that night. Knowing that she intended to place a large, complicated order, I grabbed a piece of butcher paper to begin writing without delay and assisted her with her order. She had a question about something Next Door, so we went over together where I continued to fill her list, listen, and do all things necessary to maintain calm and order. I must have impressed her because she raved to everyone at the seminar—including Ari and other important people--about my service, a testimony to the seminar. As she was leaving, and after I had helped to take her bags to the car, she asked me about myself so I told her about my plans. Surprised, but pleased, she told me about the Austrian teas her restaurant in Chicago serves, one of two places in the country to do so. I have her e-mail and an invitation to visit. I was honestly surprised by it all.
Today I met one of the partners of Rishi Tea, whose tea we serve in the deli. It was Ben’s fist visit and I ended up serving him. He did not say at first who he wa. I was about to leave his shopping basket for the last time when Allison introduced me, and then I made an excuse to take his experience to a new level while thinking of what to say to him. By the time we went our separate ways Ben suggested that I come to Rishi’s headquarters in Milwaukee where I could learn to cup (taste) tea until I could understand the flavor profiles between elevations, regions, gardens, etc. of tea. He too, was very impressed with me, and said he would back me up in becoming the Tea Specialist. I didn’t know what I had said that was so very educational about cured pork or cheese that would make him form this opinion of me. We spoke simply about tastes, but I suppose it was all very new to him.
I didn’t understand how I, between about five other employees at any given time, ended up with these guests. Is it Providence, is it Coincidence, is it anything at all? What am I supposed to take from this besides a couple e-mail addresses?
I remember now, that small encouragements and conversations and contacts from all around the country--and a day in Ann Arbor we would always remember--is what got me to concentrate and land this job in the first place. What causes me to wonder, then, whether these incidents are friend or foe?
